Past few days have been feeling strong guilt towards the people i've hurt, especially you, I know i've taken u for granted, i guess it's retribution that i'm in this state, so what goes around comes around yeah? All i wanted to say is how sorry i am, i've ill-treated you, you wanted me to send u home but i have excuses, u wanted me to hold your hand but i didn't want to, u wanted me to have lunch with you but i had it with my friends. i guess i'm just too much of a bastard to be with anyone, i even have the guts to two time, i've truly regretted...really regretted. I'm sorry for blaming you for everything i couldn't do. Will there be a day when i could receive that much care from someone ever again?
Last night, had a unforgettable dream. what are dreams? Are they reliable? People says what happens in the dreams appears opposite in reality. Isit the truth? I usually forget my dream, but why i could remember this particular dream. Why this dream? Dreams about u had always been beautiful, Is this a sign? I'm very paranoid, i'm too affected. Would you tell me what is wrong?
5 Mac Chicken, 2 Cheese Burger, 5 Mac Furry. Is something i remember, what continues i shall keep it to myself.
I once had a horrible nightmare, there's someone chasing me with a gun down a street under construction. I ran with my life depends on it, from a corner my dad pulled me in, thought everything is going to be alright, Never to know my dad pull the trigger on my head. I Could still remember that feel of having a gun pointed at my head. I woke up straight after he pulled the trigger, all i could remember, i was crying without noticing.
i was once boy now i am man with amounts feeling living in a different world i wonder what would happen when i grow old who would be at my side would it be you for the days we have spent the smile on your face the times we ran the tears we cried the rainbows we saw the fireworks we've seen it's nearly gone but yet found it's hard to loose once given up but, and yet i've return i wonder how it's going to end wonder how much time i had left
Had a awesome plane ride even though it's my second plane ride, i'm still afraid of taking plane rides, few thousands feet above sea level. Damn, after i enter the plane i'm already planning how to escape when there's a terrorist attack or a engine break down. AFTER stepping out of the plane, FUYou!!! Chills Cold shiver Ice blizzard hailstorm, it mother fucking hell a-hole cold. The weather makes genting pussy, genting = pussy weather. Took a bus ride to suzhou, got to say the canal here is fking different from singapore's canal. i bet fish could live in their canal, in singapore you could only find dead bodies.
Birthday celebration, we had KFC idea.....the chicken might be smaller in size, but the taste beats the ones in singapore. But their popcorn chicken SUCKS. well in all their dishes only 1 is good, the rest simply sucked max. And China people fking love soya bean, u could almost soya bean in all F&B restaurant. I feel like a fucking million bucks when doing shopping, LIKE A FUCKING BOSS WITH CASH!!!! I'm mother fucking RICH, hahas _|_.
Lets talk abt the girls here, 10 girls only 1 look decent, 20 girls only 1 looks HOT. Conclusion singapore girls are much better.
Traffic here, what more can i say then their all mother fucking BIG BALL bosses. My balls shrink to peanut size just by crossing the road, I saw no one speeding? No Sports Bike? No SportCars? damn!!!!
Peace out from China(*Suzhou*) Lost track of time, have no idea hw many days left.
what am i going to do? i really need a answer right now it feels so pathetic why am i going through this again they say i'm crazy laughing at myself what am i seriously doing who am i lying am i that desperate? i sit by myself talking to myself am i just a fool? who talks to himself the first time was beautiful the next time was sensational the last time was unbelievable
So what isit about love that craves people into going blind, ever ask yourself what isit you see in that person you're always thinking of.
Isit alright for someone to cross path with another just to gain your happiness? So whats right and whats wrong? whose gona answer those questions, whose gona judge? Isit gona be myself? Why isit so confusing, when i already know the answer to all? Why isit that i don't feel anything? Why does it feel like i'm devastated? What am i feeling? I have no idea.
Should i give myself sometime to think through things? or should i just burst through without thinking and just give it all through raw thoughts. Which is the way out? I'm confused. Is confusion the answer? is confusion the hint?
What is the answer? what should i do? What are you trying to hint? What am i doing?
I wanna murder someone now!!!! Not angry with anyone...dun get the wrong idea. Man i'm stress with school work even though i dun do much...fucking hate projects to the max...especially projects with alot of writing!!!!! i fucking hate to write. Some problems with grouping is they just wait for things to happen, waiting someone to start queue...Ji bai really wanna fuck them up. Knn really sometimes cannot take it, just wanna heck care all.stress max!!!
School really have been really!!! i say really!!! or should i say my class, Fucking full of hypocrites!!!! Please for fuck sake dun judge anyone just with rumors or gossips, if u think just judging him with what other "tom dick harry" says...you're just a pitiful lowlife low self-esteem piece of fuck. So stop being a hypocrite you just disgust me...Judging others and yet telling yourself not to judge? Fuck you
Now i shall fuck myself!!! i'm really to the limit of breaking my limit!?!? Wtf? i wanna just kill myself right now!!! really given up on love, Even though i have feelings for anyone...just have to keep myself shut till the feeling ends. Call me coward call me pussy...i just cant take it anymore.
Yeah, love is pain Dedicated to all my broken-hearted people One's old a flame Just scream my name And I'm so sick of love songs Yeah, I hate damn love songs, memento of ours
First time blogging something related to korean. I'm gona practice to rap this part, Damn Coolio!!!. I'm really beat up by the projects thrown in semester, fucking alot of presentations!!! Nevertheless my mind is Eyed to SUZHOU!!!! China here comes the pain _|_ i'm so gona rock the school!!! 1 bottle everyweek! no one to control me, Hell gona break loose. _|_
School really rocks if study is pulled out from it. Just enjoyment of friends, shooting nonsense at each other. pointing finger for no fking reason and laughing after that :D Fucking loved school with the freedom to express!!! I'm gona judge now, So if u cant express yourself Just go fuck yourself!!!! :D
I FUCKING GAINED WEIGHT!!! I THINK I LOOK DAMN FAT NOW!!! I'm so going back to intense work out!!!! 3 days of swimming 3 days of running everyday 150 push up and sit ups!!!
Express myself this time with fucking pride!!!
stop bottling things up it hurts to see it hurts not knowing express it out it better *ahh*
Imagine a girl in front of you plucking a symphonic song, tree swaying to the cooling breeze. Feeling the wind sipping through your hair, time started slowing down around you. Watching things around you in details, in depth. An old man throwing down his fishing rod onto a clear flowing river. Next to you a wonderful partner you ever wanted ,experiencing every bit and pieces together with you. Giving each other the sweetest smile, looking deep into each other's eye, telling a story through them. While holding onto each others warm hands like your life depends on it.
I cant backspace the things i've done i life neither can Alt F4.
Heavy burden, i've hurt many i once hurt someone dearest to me, never once use my head to think, must be stupid of me. It has always been a greatest regret of mine to take you too lightly. I'm sorry for the things i've done to you. i've been very regretful till nw. It must have been the most regretful things i have ever done. I live in tremor hating myself, could i control myself? If i cant i would not have any courage to hold anyone close to me.
The truth is pure The truth hurts The truth tells The truth explains The truth conclude The truth is addictive The truth is love The truth is hated The truth clears The truth is you The truth is me The truth is everything
There's a part of my life which has not been written. A Chapter of my life which has yet been written. When will i be able to pen a word in it?
What word would i start that chapter with?
Transformer? Sucked badly!!!! Enough of sucked up rainbow movies Time for awesome rainbow Fuuuyooo Movie!!! ( Ice Princess ) Awesomenoic Shit man!!!! Got this quote " I'm Giving up on your dream, I'm Going after mine " Madly awesome SexBomb Quote.
It has always been a principal quote of mine "Live for yourself not for someone else" " Live the way you wanted and die with no regrets " Has been there in my life always.
So whats my dream?
Thanks Lw for introducing me that movie *ahh* u know what that icon is :D
I've been really relaxed recently, i have removed a heavy Stress off myself. I felt as light as i once were. Feeling great :D
There is someone else just entered into my life. I find "Her" pretty awesome!!! Well i'm pretty awesome too...hahas Really she's awesome, Love her Character as always i will take my time to get to know more. It just me, i'm always serious :D
Awaiting for my confident to return? Lets just say i lost something in the midst of all those time i was waiting. The power to change someone's mind is a power i can never understand. Why the important of you in my heart, just took a step backwards?
It actually felt great.
Confusion are dime and dozen. You'll get it alot, no point pondering so much about it. Look straight on the road ahead of you. You'll find a better path, might be small but at least it's a smooth small path for you to walk on.
When the lights turn green, there will be a time it gonna turn red. You'll never know when, just got to enjoy the moments in between. It's the moments in between that makes you grow mentally. Well i guess my red light just switched on,
It has been confusion parade these few days. Whats wrong with u seriously? What are u trying to prove...if i'm sharp enough to trust my instinct i think i know whats happening, seriously i know. I would not mind one day u come and confront me about it. If u know me well enough, i don't mix relations. This is this, that is that. I Don't mix it. Hope u understand. Know this well, i choose who to spend my time with, i choose the people around me. There's a reason for it, i see potential in this friendship. If i don't see potential in others, i won't really give a shit about them. Hope u read this and get it into your head. I'm serious when handling relations..i'll go all the way for a good friendship.
Gona post this together.
About myself. I really want to know everything. i really do. I'm having serious doubt about my abilities after each night pass. I'm going into desperate period of my life. Mind is telling me this but society telling me otherwise. I'm doubting the mindset of females, Doesn't Gals like guys whom are deep? Anymore? So gals now sees Money? It's just whats going through my head...not pointing at anyone. I'm loosing faith in serious relationships...Sometimes i wonder why cant i be just a fking playboy...take relationship lightly. Whereas Me always being serious with relationships i cant get the girl i want...
I have asked u once, it's gonna take a whole world of courage to ask u again. Trust me it's hard it's confusing it's a pain in the heart just to think about it. It's stressful, it's darnfuckingfuckedup...As long as there's a split second of silence i'll be thinking of you...I woke up thinking of you, Before sleeping i thought of you, Dreams about you.
It's never friends i wana be in the first place, it's never friend in the first place. I wonder how long i can pull through, Everyday have been telling myself to pull through this because as long as i'm able to see u for a second all my troubles all my worries all my stress just fades away.
It's a rumor said that tmr 21st may is the judgement day...well known as dooms day. I personally think it's just stupid or fake... to be on the safe side...WHO THE FUCK CARES.
But i do,
I cant handle the truth that you're out of my life...Even though you're just a friend I just cant handle with just that...If i were to Pass without telling u everything that is hold inside me...i'll have regret tattoo on myself...
Been through 3 days of 3rd year semester..i only can say..i'm not prepared Have been Fking tired to the MAXIMAS!!! LATE FOR ALL MY MORNING LESSONS. BUT? I DUN FKING GIVE A BLOODY DAMN. Lets just hope i could get up just enough time to reach school before my class starts. DAMN IT MAN!!! MY BIKE!!! I DONO which to get!!??!! from shop or from user!!! i hope i can fking make up my mind....And get my FUCKING HONDA NSR150 SP!!!!
Hhahas today just bought my first Full face helmet and a pair of H-tech Leather Gloves...Hope to ride safely only sia!!!
I've passed my 8.01, that marks the journey for my TP test. will i pass at my first try or after &%$#& tries.
up till now i've spent about $750+...... my pay for my work have to pay back my mom for bike licence sia...haiss my holiday is work work bike bike.....where got money buy bike sia...saddening : (
i wonder who will be the first person i pillion?
Most likely i wont pillion anyone during my 1st week and 2nd week after getting my bike. scared arh, wana kena accident i dun want anyone else to kena with me.
Do u understand how i feel. Do u know the pain i'm going through Do u know the uncertainty i'm facing Do u know how much i want to understand you Do u know how Confused i am Do u know how impatient i am Do u know how much effort i put in Do u know how much things i have neglected Do u know how much i Love You?
I need to find motivation...in everything i believe in. I need to find something to believe in. I need to find someone whom i can believe in. I need someone whom can share my pain. I need someone out there.
Really man!!! i'm going through maximum boredom ALL THE WAY!!!!
Seriously sia, i need to pass my licence faster!!!!!! so i can find friends and bring them around. Want supper also hard Royce also cant drive...kim's bike only can have 1 more person... If i got bike at least can go find jo at east side...
Fk la.....i want my licence faster!!!! my bike!!!!!! arh!!!!!!! Boredom!!!!!
Please!!! please!!!! please!!!! ask me out anytime anywhere.
Girls whom knows what she wants (Why?) (: Then i'll know her true-self) Girls whom are hard to get (Why?) (: Then i'll know the relationship gonna last)
Being honest i got to say having u around feels great. It has always been heart pumping action having u around. I'm lying if i say i dun feel nervous having u around, but thats what feels great. Whatever u say it's just pure happiness to me. Your Smiles is greatness, your presence is everything. Countless adjectives to describe how happy i am having u around. You just make my day, week, month and my life.
but,
i dono how long will it last. All i can say is i'll work hard in everything i do. Including you
it's getting me everyday. my every dream. every time when i wake up. every time when going to sleep. every time when i have nothing to do. every time when i have something to do. i cant handle it. i really cant.
going through this again sucks. how many times do a person have to go through this hard times. i really very tired from all this. my mind is blowing up, my mood is crushed, my heart is heavy, my body feels weak. i really very tired. really very tired. i'm clueless about everything. i'll get fet up with everything. u think i've learn my lesson by now?
Tonight the sunset means so much The one thing that you know you'll never touch Like the feeling, the real thing Gotta reach out for the sweet dream But somehow the darkness wakes me up Well I've felt this emptiness before But all the times that I've been broken I still run right back for more
You'd think that I'd learn my lesson by now You'd think that I'd somehow figure out That if you strike that match You're bound to feel the flame You'd think that I'd learn the cost of love And paid that price long enough But still I drive myself right through the pain Well it turns out I haven't learned a thing
Oh yeah
Sometimes I think I'm better off To turn out the lights and close up shop Didn't give up the longing, believing And belonging Just hold down my head and take the loss
You'd think that I'd learn my lesson by now You'd think that I'd somehow figure out That if you strike that match You're bound to feel the flame You'd think that I'd learn the cost of love And paid that price long enough But still I drive myself right through the pain Well it turns out I haven't learned a thing
You'd think that I'd learn my lesson by now You'd think that I'd somehow figure out That if you strike that match You're bound to feel the flame You'd think that I'd learn the cost of love And paid that price long enough But still I drive myself right through the pain Yeah, well it turns out I haven't learned a thing
I haven't learned a thing I haven't learned, haven't learned I haven't learned a thing
My heart feels so heavy. So much uncertainty, so uneasy so much question. Whats wrong? whats the problem? What am i? who am i to you? Really..what is the problem
