InSearchForAReasons

Past few days have been feeling strong guilt towards the people i've hurt, especially you, I know i've taken u for granted, i guess it's retribution that i'm in this state, so what goes around comes around yeah? All i wanted to say is how sorry i am, i've ill-treated you, you wanted me to send u home but i have excuses, u wanted me to hold your hand but i didn't want to, u wanted me to have lunch with you but i had it with my friends. i guess i'm just too much of a bastard to be with anyone, i even have the guts to two time, i've truly regretted...really regretted. I'm sorry for blaming you for everything i couldn't do. Will there be a day when i could receive that much care from someone ever again?



I'm sorry

Last night, had a unforgettable dream. what are dreams? Are they reliable? People says what happens in the dreams appears opposite in reality. Isit the truth? I usually forget my dream, but why i could remember this particular dream. Why this dream?
Dreams about u had always been beautiful, Is this a sign? I'm very paranoid, i'm too affected. Would you tell me what is wrong?

5 Mac Chicken, 2 Cheese Burger, 5 Mac Furry. Is something i remember, what continues i shall keep it to myself.

I once had a horrible nightmare, there's someone chasing me with a gun down a street under construction. I ran with my life depends on it, from a corner my dad pulled me in, thought everything is going to be alright, Never to know my dad pull the trigger on my head. I Could still remember that feel of having a gun pointed at my head. I woke up straight after he pulled the trigger, all i could remember, i was crying without noticing.

i was once boy
now i am man
with amounts feeling
living in a different world
i wonder what would happen
when i grow old
who would be at my side
would it be you
for the days we have spent
the smile on your face
the times we ran
the tears we cried
the rainbows we saw
the fireworks we've seen
it's nearly gone
but yet found
it's hard to loose
once given up
but,
and yet i've return
i wonder how it's going to end
wonder how much time i had left

D@y one,

Had a awesome plane ride even though it's my second plane ride, i'm still afraid of taking plane rides, few thousands feet above sea level. Damn, after i enter the plane i'm already planning how to escape when there's a terrorist attack or a engine break down. AFTER stepping out of the plane, FUYou!!! Chills Cold shiver Ice blizzard hailstorm, it mother fucking hell a-hole cold. The weather makes genting pussy, genting = pussy weather. Took a bus ride to suzhou, got to say the canal here is fking different from singapore's canal. i bet fish could live in their canal, in singapore you could only find dead bodies.

D@y two,

I'm fucking tired, i'm fucking tired, i'm mother fucking tired.

D@y Three,

Birthday celebration, we had KFC idea.....the chicken might be smaller in size, but the taste beats the ones in singapore. But their popcorn chicken SUCKS. well in all their dishes only 1 is good, the rest simply sucked max. And China people fking love soya bean, u could almost soya bean in all F&B restaurant. I feel like a fucking million bucks when doing shopping, LIKE A FUCKING BOSS WITH CASH!!!! I'm mother fucking RICH, hahas _|_.

Lets talk abt the girls here, 10 girls only 1 look decent, 20 girls only 1 looks HOT.
Conclusion singapore girls are much better.

Traffic here, what more can i say then their all mother fucking BIG BALL bosses. My balls shrink to peanut size just by crossing the road, I saw no one speeding? No Sports Bike? No SportCars? damn!!!!

Peace out from China(*Suzhou*)
Lost track of time, have no idea hw many days left.