InSearchForAReasons

I'm done

what can a packet do?
What can 3 sticks do?
What can i do with the rest?
Why am i doing this?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

what am i going to do?
i really need a answer right now
it feels so pathetic
why am i going through this again
they say i'm crazy
laughing at myself
what am i seriously doing
who am i lying
am i that desperate?
i sit by myself
talking to myself
am i just a fool?
who talks to himself
the first time was beautiful
the next time was sensational
the last time was unbelievable


just now was i don't know............

So what isit about love that craves people into going blind, ever ask yourself what isit you see in that person you're always thinking of.

Isit alright for someone to cross path with another just to gain your happiness?
So whats right and whats wrong? whose gona answer those questions, whose gona judge?
Isit gona be myself?
Why isit so confusing, when i already know the answer to all?
Why isit that i don't feel anything? Why does it feel like i'm devastated? What am i feeling? I have no idea.

Should i give myself sometime to think through things? or should i just burst through without thinking and just give it all through raw thoughts. Which is the way out? I'm confused. Is confusion the answer? is confusion the hint?

What is the answer? what should i do? What are you trying to hint? What am i doing?

I wanna murder someone now!!!!
Not angry with anyone...dun get the wrong idea.
Man i'm stress with school work even though i dun do much...fucking hate projects to the max...especially projects with alot of writing!!!!! i fucking hate to write. Some problems with grouping is they just wait for things to happen, waiting someone to start queue...Ji bai really wanna fuck them up. Knn really sometimes cannot take it, just wanna heck care all.stress max!!!

School really have been really!!! i say really!!! or should i say my class, Fucking full of hypocrites!!!! Please for fuck sake dun judge anyone just with rumors or gossips, if u think just judging him with what other "tom dick harry" says...you're just a pitiful lowlife low self-esteem piece of fuck. So stop being a hypocrite you just disgust me...Judging others and yet telling yourself not to judge? Fuck you

Now i shall fuck myself!!! i'm really to the limit of breaking my limit!?!? Wtf?
i wanna just kill myself right now!!! really given up on love, Even though i have feelings for anyone...just have to keep myself shut till the feeling ends. Call me coward call me pussy...i just cant take it anymore.

Cant take it anymore

Yeah, love is pain
Dedicated to all my broken-hearted people
One's old a flame
Just scream my name
And I'm so sick of love songs
Yeah, I hate damn love songs, memento of ours


First time blogging something related to korean. I'm gona practice to rap this part, Damn Coolio!!!. I'm really beat up by the projects thrown in semester, fucking alot of presentations!!! Nevertheless my mind is Eyed to SUZHOU!!!! China here comes the pain _|_ i'm so gona rock the school!!! 1 bottle everyweek! no one to control me, Hell gona break loose. _|_

School really rocks if study is pulled out from it. Just enjoyment of friends, shooting nonsense at each other. pointing finger for no fking reason and laughing after that :D Fucking loved school with the freedom to express!!! I'm gona judge now, So if u cant express yourself Just go fuck yourself!!!! :D

I FUCKING GAINED WEIGHT!!! I THINK I LOOK DAMN FAT NOW!!! I'm so going back to intense work out!!!! 3 days of swimming 3 days of running everyday 150 push up and sit ups!!!

Express myself this time with fucking pride!!!



stop bottling things up
it hurts to see
it hurts not knowing
express it out
it better *ahh*

Imagine a girl in front of you plucking a symphonic song, tree swaying to the cooling breeze. Feeling the wind sipping through your hair, time started slowing down around you. Watching things around you in details, in depth. An old man throwing down his fishing rod onto a clear flowing river. Next to you a wonderful partner you ever wanted ,experiencing every bit and pieces together with you. Giving each other the sweetest smile, looking deep into each other's eye, telling a story through them. While holding onto each others warm hands like your life depends on it.

Life like this is what i truly want

I cant backspace the things i've done i life neither can Alt F4.

Heavy burden,
i've hurt many i once hurt someone dearest to me,
never once use my head to think, must be stupid of me. It has always been
a greatest regret of mine to take you too lightly. I'm sorry for the things i've done
to you. i've been very regretful till nw. It must have been the most regretful things
i have ever done. I live in tremor hating myself, could i control myself? If i cant
i would not have any courage to hold anyone close to me.

What should i do?

I'll catch a grenade for you, are u gona catch mine?

The truth is pure
The truth hurts
The truth tells
The truth explains
The truth conclude
The truth is addictive
The truth is love
The truth is hated
The truth clears
The truth is you
The truth is me
The truth is everything

Speak the truth, It's what you need

Truth is the remedy for everything

There's a part of my life which has not been written.
A Chapter of my life which has yet been written. When will i be able to pen a word in it?

What word would i start that chapter with?



Transformer? Sucked badly!!!!
Enough of sucked up rainbow movies
Time for awesome rainbow Fuuuyooo Movie!!! ( Ice Princess )
Awesomenoic Shit man!!!! Got this quote " I'm Giving up on your dream, I'm Going after mine " Madly awesome SexBomb Quote.

It has always been a principal quote of mine "Live for yourself not for someone else"
" Live the way you wanted and die with no regrets " Has been there in my life always.

So whats my dream?


Thanks Lw for introducing me that movie *ahh* u know what that icon is :D


I've been really relaxed recently, i have removed a heavy Stress off myself. I felt as light as i once were. Feeling great :D

There is someone else just entered into my life. I find "Her" pretty awesome!!! Well i'm pretty awesome too...hahas
Really she's awesome, Love her Character as always i will take my time to get to know more. It just me, i'm always serious :D

i don't wana be a Hypocrite